Well Crap

For starters, if you want to continue to view me in as perfect a form as you are now, I recommend that you stop reading right now. Close out of this window, shut down your computer, and go do something else. In short, right now my life isn't simple. In fact, less than a minute ago I had a mental breakdown and yelled at my sister. Why? Unfortunately for you I'd rather not reveal the reason. Simply, I've gotten a little sick of her getting on my case about everything. And to make it worse she has POTS (Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome). And that sucks. To be honest, I don't know much about it, but I'm sick of it. Other that the occasional time that my dad forces her to go to drivers ed and the at most two times she goes to church each month, she's at home 24/7. She can't go out to do anything, can't handle anything that's loud at all. I'm not saying this is her fault, as POTS has given her chronic migraines.

But anyway, back to my problems. For another big thing, I'd recommend clicking away now if you have any problem with 1st world problems. To make this as concise as possible, I'm sick of anyone thinking I'm perfect. I'm not! Get that through your head now! This huge obsession in being sick of the world expecting so much from me actually only began yesterday. At my high school there's two concert bands. Symphonic Band and Wind Ensemble. I'm in Symphonic Band this year (the lesser band) and auditions to get into Wind Ensemble were yesterday. I didn't quite realize how nervous I was about the audition until I started. I played a little too much before going in and some parts were rough and I couldn't quite hit some high notes. As I walked out I felt awful. I was crying inside. And then as I walked out and someone asked me how it went, the person sitting next to them said simply, "He's Sam, of course he's gonna get in!" To be honest, that was my mindset for most of the time going into it. But it wasn't until I walked out and I heard them say that that I ever actually thought "Holy crap what if I don't get in..." The rest of that day didn't go well for me. At least inside it didn't. 

So then I eventually got to today when I had my freak out at my sister. I had a little trouble getting over it after. So I went to my default calming mechanism, music. Once pandora turned on the first song to come on was easily one of the happiest songs ever, Jump in the Line by Harry Belafonte.

Picture from here

You can't exactly be sad while listening to this song. So I guess this does have a bit of a happy ending.